I have a confession. These past few weeks I have been struggling about Argentina. Stomach churning with anxiety, mind swimming. Wondering. Questioning. Doubting. Catastrophizing.
I have been on such an awesome, strict diet. Calculating, excel spreadsheeting, cooking, weighing, measuring, portioning, Tupperware-ing. Going to the gym, getting in my sleep, keeping to myself, staying focused, staying in my routine.
…Then to think of going on a trip, where I will not have the same routine, sometimes I will not have control over my food, I definitely won’t be measuring my food or likely cooking at all, my sleep might be limited, the temptations will be high and prevalent, I will be with a group of foodie girls, I don’t even know if I will even make it to the gym. For over two weeks I will be in this situation. I have been really, really scared.
What if I just feel out of control? What if I come back 5 or 10 pounds heavier? Will I still be able to do my physique competition and hit my goals? What will happen to my trust in myself? ….. Should I try to follow my diet still? Not follow my diet? Set a higher calorie allotment? Come up with arbitrary distinctions such as “You can have 1 of x, and 2 of y”? Should I try to work out a lot to compensate for all the meals we will eat out? Or give my body much needed rest? Or???? What if I lose my focus while I’m in Argentina, far from everything?
So, all sorts of disquieting thoughts have been plaguing me. I felt very unconfident in myself. These past few weeks I have been working on formulating my philosophy on how I will approach this trip. And I feel it is finally coming together.
I received two emails in my inbox this morning that I believe are quite serendipitous:
In Martin Rooney’s newsletter, he discussed YOLO….
“I am not sure when or why YOLO became a good excuse to do bad things. It seems as though this concept only applies to reckless behavior like eating or drink too much, staying out much later than necessary, wasting hard earned money or doing something that is harmful to the body or mind….YOLO is an interesting concept. In one case, it is an excuse to do something you know you shouldn’t and in another drive you to become more than you ever dreamed….YOLO, therefore, can be a negative or a positive ‘risk’ for change. Why not risk to eat as well as you could and get daily exercise? Why not improve your skills and become one of the best in your industry? My challenge for you will be to see which direction the concept drives you. Are you going to have another drink, or perform a random act of kindness. Are you going to waste your hard earned money on something you don’t need, or invest your time and money to better yourself? …Finally, YOLO is true. None of us get out of this big game alive. Which side of Yin or Yang you choose, however, will ultimately decide if you are the big winner or not. Light or dark. Good or bad. Long or short. Perhaps the most powerful aspect of this statement you may have forgotten is the choice is yours.”
^^^^…Now…I LOVE THIS!!!!
This is succhhh a perfect message for me this morning to help crystallize my feelings about Argentina.
I felt like maybe I was doing myself a disservice or not “living” if I go to Argentina and not do it up with all the food, dinners, debauchery.
But this message reassures me that I can still “YOLO” while treating my body well and taking care of myself and still make decisions in line with my competition goals. In other words, I can have a bite of this or that, and still enjoy treats, but I can have a moderate approach and STILL have the time of my life. I don’t have to be extreme to YOLO. I can be moderate and still YOLO.
Secondly, I read the daily newsletter from The Daily Love and one of the affirmations for today was this:
I tell a new story about what’s possible for me.
^^^And I love this, too.
These two messages were great affirmations for me.
So, it sounds funny for me to get psyched about being moderate…but I think that’s exactly what I need to do!
This philosophy makes me feel like I can embrace my upcoming vacation as a vacation of a lifetime, and as an opportunity to make choices that will have me returning feeling vivacious, empowered, healthy, and successful 😉
So, YOLO doesn’t have to mean I have to choose on the side of gluttony or recklessness. I can choose YOLO to mean taking the “positive risk for change.” For me, being flexible while vacationing, while still making choices on track for my upcoming competitions and dreams of reaching IFBB pro status IS YOLO.
YOLO doesn’t have to mean being extreme. YOLO can also mean being moderate 😉
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
With love,
K
MAR